Where To Eat

For the first time in the history of these 416 square miles that, today, constitute the Hongkong Special Administrative Region (HKSAR) of the People’s Republic of China (PRC), two internationally known television cooks have graced the territory with their presence and have, one is led to believe, established their unique style of cooking in two eateries that they, individually, have founded.

(TARGET [泰達財經] declines to call these two personalities, ‘celebrated chefs’, because, inter alia, being widely known for one thing or another, such as the ability to utter copious expletives for the consumption of television audiences, may not be suggestive of being an expert in the art of cookery, the definition of which, being the preparation of food for consumption.)

The two personalities to whom TARGET is referring are Messrs Gordon James Ramsay, Junior, and James Trevor ‘Jamie’ Oliver.

The major differences between these two gentlemen are that the former-mentioned

is famous for his extensive vocabulary of expletives, which he is not loath to utter whenever the spirit moves him, either on television or elsewhere, while the latter-mentioned is best known for his ability to give one the impression of being a gentle, down-to-earth soul who has a fondness for fresh vegetables, selected from his own garden, and, clearly, a dislike for four-letter words.

On April 16, 2015, in TARGET Intelligence Report, Volume XVII, Number 80, this medium reviewed the restaurant, named Bread Street Kitchen and Bar, an eatery that one is told is the latest addition to the restaurants, directly or indirectly, operated by Mr Gordon Ramsay.

This restaurant is located in an area of Central, Hongkong Island, that this medium has dubbed, ‘the human ash-tray’ due to its many filthy streets and being the location that houses, on most evenings, the highest number of drunks, both male and female, as well as numerous pimps and prostitutes of all genders: Male; female; and, hermaphrodites.

This medium’s conclusion was that the food, served at the Bread Street Kitchen and Bar on the evening of TARGET’s visit, was ‘utterly hopeless’.

At Paragraph Six of this April food review, TARGET said: 

‘… if he (Mr Gordon Ramsay) is a material shareholder (of Bread Street Kitchen and Bar), then, it appears, very clearly, that he needs to shove a red-hot poker up somebody’s arse, while yelling at the person in his well-known, stentorian voice: “You stupid bastard!”’ 

On Saturday, May 23, 2015, at 1:30 p.m., TARGET reviewed ‘Jamie’s Italian’, the first restaurant, sponsored by Mr Jamie Oliver in the HKSAR. 

This restaurant is located in Causeway Bay, Hongkong Island, one of the most-densely populated areas of the territory and, it has been suggested, the most-densely populated part of the world.

Jamie’s Italian is not easy to find, being located on the Second Floor of Soundwill Plaza II, at Number One, Tang Lung Street, Causeway Bay, Hongkong Island.

Finding Tang Lung Street was the first difficulty, as far as TARGET’s team was concerned, this medium’s staff, not being a regular visitors to this area of Hongkong Island.

The second difficulty was being told, on sitting at a table that had been reserved, one week earlier, that one is afforded only one hour of eating at the restaurant.

Such nonsense!

What is the restaurant management going to do if a person overstays the allotted one-hour, time limit?

After scanning the menu, the following are the dishes that TARGET ordered, reproduced verbatim: 

Artisan Italian Breads
Homemade Rosemary Focaccia, Music Bread,
Ciabatta and Grissini with Olive Oil and Balsamic
$HK40 

Funky Chips
With Fresh Garlic and Parsley
$HK45 

Italian-Spiced Chicken Wings
Free-Range Wings with a Spicy, Smoked Tomato Sauce
$HK75 

Crispy Squid
With Garlic Mayo, Lemon and Chilli
$HK60 

Lamb Lollipops
Chops Grilled under a Brick
with a Herby Red Onion Salad, Toasted Nuts,
Yoghurt for Dunking and Polenta Chips
$HK220 

Beef Osso Bucco
Free-Range Beef, Slow-Cooked with
Saffron, Onion, Tomatoes and White Wine,
served with Sicillan-Style Orange Gremolata
$HK198 

Daily Special
Grilled Mackerel
Served with vegetables, cooked Mediterranean Style
$HK210 

Tiramisu
Coffee-Flavoured Trifle with Orange Mascarpone and Chocolate
$HK65 

Vanilla Panna Cotta
Served with Seasonal Fruit Compote
$HK60 

The Food

There was little that was terribly wrong with any of the dishes, sampled by TARGET, but, at the same time, there was little that was very good about any of the dishes.

One could say that Jamie’s Italian is slightly better than a fast-food joint.

The worst dish was the Grilled Mackerel because it was, in a word, more than a little ‘off’ – that is to state that the dead fish was more than halfway to being inedible.

The two best dishes were the desserts.

The restaurant boasts of producing its own pastas and, by the appearance of the number of people, ingesting pasta dishes of one kind or another, it certainly seemed that pasta was the dish that suited the majority of the patrons, nearly all of whom were Asian.

Strangely, while all cooked dishes are served on warm plates, the food that went onto these plates was lukewarm.

The serving staff appeared to be doing their best to keep up with the crush of food orders so that no blame could be ascribed to them.

Which leaves, as the culprits of the lukewarm food: The kitchen staff.

Jamie’s Italian does not serve Italian food, of that there can be no question, but Jamie’s Italian, also, does not appear to live up to its hype of serving only nutritious and healthy dishes.

The lamb and the Osso Bucco bordered on disaster areas while the Italian-spiced (frozen?) ‘free-range!’ chicken wings were so spicy that, to many people, including this scribe, they were impossible to eat.  

The Ambiance 

Jamie’s Italian is said to have been open for the past two years, but the Causeway Bay, new building, in which the 200-seat restaurant is located, is far from having been completed.

The music is very loud and, since it could be heard over the din of the many patrons, eating and giggling, one can appreciate that this is not the restaurant to which one should escort a new acquaintance of the opposite sex with a view to making a lasting impression.

The seating, for the most part, is very basic, but functional, nevertheless, and the choice of the furnishings is such that they will last a very long time, having been made of materials that do not break, easily.

Clearly, Mr Jamie Oliver’s television cooking shows must have helped in making this restaurant somewhat of a success, but one might like to ponder how long will it take for the icing to fall off the gingerbread?