Where To Eat

The only real saving grace of Grand Hyatt, Hongkong, is its partially obstructed view of Victoria Harbour in spite of the countless years that people have been forced to look at the seemingly, never-ending construction of the roadworks of Causeway Bay and Wanchai, all of which that skirt this beautiful Harbour.

The most-damning aspect of the fine-dining outlet of Grand Hyatt, Hongkong, is the hotel’s Management that appears, persistently, to make the determination that its patrons are, for the most part, nincompoops.

Regrettably, TARGET (泰達財經) has to admit that for about two hours, last week, it had to join the long line of nincompoops who ventured into this once, five-star hotel, having falsely been told that Grand Hyatt’s fine-dining, food outlet had a new Italian chef.

Having been told, falsely, by a member of the hotel’s Management that Grissini, the fine-dining outlet, had a new Italian chef, this medium decided to give the restaurant another chance, following an absence of some years due to being sadly disappointed by the numerous, previous managements of this restaurant.

Which just goes to prove that one should believe nothing that one hears and very little, probably 50 percent or less, that one reads in the media – unless it is written in TARGET, of course, in which case, one may be assured that that which is written in this medium is 100-percent accurate, is objective and impartial.

To begin this tale of woe, TARGET discovered that Grissini does not have an Italian chef. In fact, last Tuesday, it had no chef at all, Italian or of any nationality.

Alternatively, if there is an Italian chef in residence, he (or she) is sleeping at the helm. 

First Impressions Became Lasting Ones

On entering Grissini, last Tuesday (February 21, 2017) at about 7:30 pm, the young lady at the entrance to the restaurant had a great deal of trouble in finding the name of the Editor of TARGET on her list in spite of the fact that it was clearly typed on the second line of a sheet of paper from which she was attempting to scan.

Which just goes to prove, inter alia, that the restaurant has not changed, appreciably, since this medium’s first visit to it, about 15 years ago, and, obviously, neither has the quality of members of the welcoming committee.

Having been seated at a very nice window table – there were plenty of empty tables, by the way – the menu was scanned as was the wine list and, after a few minutes of deliberations, the following dishes were ordered: 

Minestrone All’Italiana
Seasonal vegetable minestrone
$HK180 

Spaghetti “Gentile” Alla Carbonara D’Astice
Gentile spaghetti, blue lobster, carbonara sauce made with free range Italian eggs
$HK480 

Bocconcini di Patate, Frutti di Mare, Cacio, Pepe
Homemade potato gnocchi, Mediterranean seafood, Pecorino cheese, black pepper
$HK320 

Agnello al Carbone, Carprese di Peperone Arrostito
Ash bread crusted lamb loin, roasted red peppers a la Caprese, ricotta, basil
$HK450 

L’Ossobuco alla Milanese
Stewed veal shank, authentic hearty recipe from Milano, saffron risotto
$HK420 

Il Branzino, Guazzetto Mediterraneo al Basilico
Mediterranean deep water sea bass, fresh tomatoes, Taggiasca olives
$HK450 

Ricotta, Pere, Cannella
Crispy cannoli, ricotta cheese mousse, caramelized pear, cinnamon
$HK140 

Tiramisù
Mascarpone cream with coffee soaked sponge fingers
$HK140

With the above, TARGET ordered a bottle of : 

Amarone della Valpolicella, Vintage 2011, Corte Sant’Alda
$HK1,980 

(The above list has been copied, faithfully, from the menu, verbatim) 

The Food

The food, served to this medium, was an utter disgrace. There were no exceptions with regard to any of the dishes, only various degrees of degradation and disgust. 

The First Courses

The minestrone was barely passable, but that was as far as any accolades could be distributed in respect of this vegetable soup.

The spaghetti dish did not contain any trace of a blue lobster, but there was a single claw of what was, certainly, a blanched, frozen claw of a Boston lobster – which was inedible because, among other things, it was impossible to get at the lobster meat, within the claw, assuming that there was any meat in the small cavity.

As for the gnocchi, it was not gnocchi, at all, but somebody’s wild idea of a sticky mess of flour and water (and, perhaps, a dab of mashed potato) to which some seafood pieces had been added to the dish. 

The Main Courses

The seabass dish was not half bad, but it was far from being half good.

The fish, certainly, was of the frozen variety, but, luckily, the tomato sauce, heaped atop the lone piece of fish, tended to mask any mistakes, made by the madman of Grissini’s kitchen.

The Ossobuco was, clearly, a reheated lump of mush, surrounded by something that resembled risotto. Parts of the veal meat were cold, the other parts, being lukewarm.

Still on the subject of the risotto, it had been made by some idiot in the kitchen, who had doused the rice with copious quantities of chicken powder – a supplement that contains monosodium glutamate – and, then, added some water to the rice and chicken powder in order to make a hapless customer think that the rice had been cooked in a chicken stock.

Monosodium glutamate makes one very thirsty; it is a telltale betrayal of this chemical when ingested with food.

As for the lamb dish, the meat was raw!

There was no question about that fact.

When the waiter was told to take it away, he, haughtily, proclaimed that it was slow-cooked lamb and that the meat only looked as though it was raw.

To this statement, this TARGET reviewer reminded the waiter that it had been stated, definitively, at the time of ordering the dish, that the lamb should well cooked … ‘not raw’.

The waiter took the lamb dish away and, about two minutes later, the same dish reappeared on the table with the same two lumps of meat, one having been almost sliced in half, both lumps and the entire plate, having been placed in a microwave oven.

The centre of the meat, now, had been terribly over-cooked and had turned a greyish, sickly colour.

Now, the meat had the consistency of leather and the melted ricotta cheese, looking as though it were something that the dog had brought home from the gutter.

It was completely inedible and was sent packing with a barrage of complaints, all of which fell on the deaf ears of the waiter.

As for the two desserts, this medium strongly suggests that any brave soul, entering Grissini, should not even consider them.

With regard to the wine, it was the only part of the dinner that was, really, excellent.  

In fact, this medium would go as far as to state that the wine was outstanding.

It is strongly recommended for people who enjoy Amarone. 

The Serving Staff 

In short, for those who served at TARGET’s table, they are untrained, unruly and stupid in the extreme.

When it was time to leave and the bill was requested, one of the waiters actually dumped the two overcoats of the ladies, being part of TARGET’s team, onto the lap of one of them and, then, made a hasty retreat.

During the meal, when the various dishes arrived, they were placed on a small serving table, beside TARGET’s table, and, more often than not, this reviewer – the only male ‘victim’ of the evening – was served before the two female reviewers.

During the meal, whenever there was a question about the food or its quality, the waiter looked vacantly into the distance, pretended to listen briefly to the complainant and, then, sauntered away as though to suggest that TARGET’s reviewers comprised a trio of idiots.

(By the way, nobody at Grissini knew that this medium was reviewing the restaurant.)

The waiter, for the first time, during the evening, was absolutely correct in his determination, leading to the conclusion that the three ‘victims’ of this restaurant of last Tuesday must have been absolute idiots because, after all, anybody with a modicum of sense and possessing just a smattering of knowledge of Italian cuisine, should never consider, entering Grissini.

Over the years, Grissini has, to be perfectly honest, graduated, from being mediocre to having arrived as being among the worst of the worst of the many restaurants, trying to operate in Hongkong, all claiming to serve authentic, Italian cuisine.

On a final note, Management of Grissini need not fear: TARGET shall not be returning to Grissini lest somebody might well consider putting a final chapter to this medium’s food reviews.