The Wong Way

Very few of Solicitor Wong’s clients were Europeans and even fewer were Jewish. Not that this officer of the High Court of Hongkong had anything against Europeans and or people of the Jewish persuasion, it was just that such people rarely came knocking at his door, asking for legal advice. Just about all of Solicitor Wong’s clients were Chinese, mostly from Hongkong, and most of the cases were in respect of alleged criminal activities. His record of winning cases was not very high because, as was his wont, he would suggest that his clients compromise with whomsoever was on the other side, especially when a department of the Hongkong police force was involved. But, one day, a Rabbi came to see this quiet-spoken solicitor. Now, Solicitor Wong had, always, had a very high opinion of Jews because this race of Semites, which are descendents of Shem, son of Noah (of the ark story), are known to be people in whom one can rely. When, one day, he read about the biggest Jewish crook of all times, one that, at one time, was the Non-Executive Chairman of The NASDAQ Stock Exchange System, he was shocked. He was even more shocked to learn that Mr Bernard Madoff had swindled his fellow Jews out of about $US65 billion. ‘How could a nice-looking Jewish man, a former stockbroker and investment advisor, located in New York, the financial centre of the United States, be such a crook? I have lost confidence in Jews, now,’ he lamented to his wife, Judy. Judy replied: ‘There are good and bad in every race and in every religion. You should not judge a book by its colour or a sausage by its skin.’ Solicitor Wong, then, told his wife of his prospective new client, a New York rabbi. ‘What has he asked you to do?’ Judy asked and, and, then, quickly added. ‘Nothing to do with money, I hope.’ ‘I cannot tell you about this case,’ Solicitor Wong said, ‘but I can tell you that it is a tortuous matter. That’s all I can say due to my professional ethics.’  

When the lights went out in their bedroom, a short time later, Judy snuggled up to her husband in a manner that spelt only one thing. ‘No, no, no!’ Solicitor Wong uttered in a voice of desperation. ‘I cannot talk about this case! It would be wrong.’ A little while later, however, he opened up and told Judy all of the details of the case as though he owed something to his spouse for the way in which she had been so submissive and kind to him. ‘He is a rabbi and so I have confidence in him. Rabbis are teachers and, in the Jewish religion, they are highly respected and revered. In some Jewish circles, rabbis are known as The Kosher Nostra. Rabbi Mike (Moiche) Balony wants me to defend him in an action, brought by a New York investment company over the alleged disappearance of some investment funds, placed with the New York investment company by some of his acquaintances in the synagogue in which he is attached. It involves about $US5 million of alleged missing funds.’ With that, Judy turned over and was about to go to sleep when, suddenly, she remembered a similar story of a rabbi from New York that had been incarcerated for 4 years for trying to extort some $US4 million from a private investment company. She turned back to her husband, waking him in the process, and told him of the story that she had read in the gossip columns of a Chinese newspaper. On hearing the story, Solicitor Wong sat up in bed, precipitantly terrified: ‘No! How could it be? Could Rabbi Moiche Balony be associated with your story? Is it the same person? Can I no longer trust the hierarchy of the Jewish religious? What is this world coming to?’ 

On reaching his office the next morning, Solicitor Wong, immediately, enquired of the accounts department as to whether or not it had received any funds from Rabbi Moiche Balony. On hearing that he had not received any money from his prospective client, Solicitor Wong was clearly relieved because it meant that this rabbi, if, indeed, he was a rabbi, was not his client because no money had changed hands. When a telephone call came that afternoon from a person, claiming to be Rabbi Moiche Balony, Solicitor Wong was not available to talk to the voice at the end of the telephone. In fact, he never spoke to Rabbi Moiche Balony again. He told Judy what he had done and how Rabbi Moiche Balony was not, and never had been, his client. ‘Stick with Chinese clients,’ Judy told her relieved husband. ‘They may be slightly, or completely, bent, but better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know. In short, it is better to deal with a person you know, even if you do not like that person, than to deal with a stranger, who could be even worse.’  

Solicitor Wong, suddenly, realised that he had, after all, married an intelligent Chinese lady. He told Judy so. ‘You are quite right,’ he said. ‘My Chinese clients might not all be completely honest, but they do pay my bills, promptly. From my knowledge and from what you have told me, the moment that an American has a contract, drafted for him and it is signed by the third party, from then on that American will try to find a way, legally, to break that same contract. With an American Rabbi, who knows how he thinks because he may claim that God is on his side due to the fact that he is a member of “The Chosen Ones”. I wonder whether or not Bernard Madoff went to synagogue every Friday night in order to give thanks to God for his $US65 billion in ill-gotten gains.’ 

Judy just mumbled to herself as she started to doze off: ‘Stupid idiot!’