Some Little Thoughts

I am waiting.
As certain as I am that day will drive away the darkness of the night,
As certain as I am that, in due course, youth will stop its crying,
So I know that I am dying. 

I am waiting.
For these many years, I have evaded capture,
But the time will come when I shall fail, losing the long and painful fight.
Then vanquishment shall be my just reward:
Cut down by the sharpest sword. 

What regrets will I carry to my last bed?
The touch of my lover’s hand in mine;
The first passionate kiss, long in coming;
The feel of silken skin, touching my inner thigh;
The complete surrender to my advances: Love-lust come!
Consummation not missed … Then, rest, one together in one. 

What regrets will I carry to my last bed?
The winter snow, covering the land: Virgin white; unblemished;
untouched, smooth and undulating;

The sun, shining on the icicles, hanging from boughs,
making them look like spiked,
polished diamonds;

The raccoon’s footprints, suddenly discovered, at the foot of that maple tree;
Wondrous nature! These images no more shall I see. 

What regrets will I carry to my last bed?
Spring – The explosion! Fingers break through the crusty sod transforming from shoots to the promise of summer’s flora;
Fresh warm breezes, replacing winter’s prickly cold, blankets fresh life,
struggling to be free to feel the sun, once more;

Branches of trees, in a thrice, turn from grey to green as leaves crown them as though this is their reward for the winter’s long sleep;
Birds chirp, calling for mates: ‘I am here!’ ‘I have returned!’, the birds say.
Oh! How I wish that I could watch and those magical events from April to May!

 I am waiting.
Spring, the creator, is, also, the destroyer of winter’s magical fairyland.
I note the ice melt, the pointed diamonds disappear from boughs,
gone for another year.
But for me, it is gone for ever.
I shall view these scenes no more … never in this life:
NEVER! 

Inwardly I cry
Because, now, it is my turn:
I must leave;
I must die.
Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!