Some Little Thoughts

Had I the wit,
Perhaps to write
The memories of life long gone,
What pictures might be struck
On lonely nights?
What past records recalled?
What fanciful sights
Would send my soul to undreamed-of heights?  

Had I some thoughts,
Perhaps to think,
Some great and noble determinations,
Might calm tormented me?
Then, would this cause a change?
Would this reverse the dementia faculty,
Which lives only for the night
And perpetuates itself in distorted sight? 

Had I a love,
Perhaps to hold,
A gentle life that lives alone for me,
Might quell the insomnia?
Might this love hear my thoughts?
Might it hold my head
Against her breast?
Might give me solace: Lovely rest? 

Had I a heart,
Perhaps to beat,
An organ, forcing blood round body’s universe;
Might then I feel youth’s lustful yearnings?
Might then come floods to gorge fibres?
Might then know I breathe?
Might then give me life?
And give me peace: Flooding vapid strife? 

Had I a mind,
Perhaps to think,
Ganglions and meaningful sensations,
Might then I dream
Of greatness and momentous considerations?
Of immortality to treat.
Horrors inert, but in a jumbled heap!
Afflictions, stunting peaceful sleep. 

Had I just one of these,
Perhaps, then, I could
Lie down to rest – without distress.
But I do known these things can never be
For mind is life’s mistress,
And we must suffer
The haunting life for eternity:
Sleep will ere, always, allude me.